January 2009
7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship
Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.
I’ve discovered, in the 35 years that I’ve been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF
This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.
For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.
When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.
KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE
Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly - with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change - you can only change yourself.
LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING
When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We’ve all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.
For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment - of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment - of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually - by learning instead of controlling.
CREATE DATE TIMES
When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together - to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.
GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS
Positive energy flows between two people when there is an “attitude of gratitude.” Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.
FUN AND PLAY
We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.
SERVICE
A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.
If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of a powerful healing process called Inner Bonding. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
New Weight Training Technique Gets Superior Results Using Barbells, Kettlebells, or Dumbbells
If you’ve been looking for a different training technique to break out of a rut, eliminate the boredom, and bring on new results, “complexes” may be just what you’ve been looking for. If you’ve never heard of “complexes” before, the basic concept is that instead of repeating the same exercise for multiple reps to complete a “set”, you sequence one rep of several different exercises right after one another and repeat the sequence several times to complete a “set”. No, this is NOT circuit training…it’s much different. It’s basically like performing a routine, instead of just mindlessly performing a typical “set”. This type of training is excellent to work a huge amount of musculature in a short amount of time, and definitely takes your workouts to a whole new level of intensity. The conditioning aspect of this type of training is amazing, as you’ll find yourself huffing and puffing after repeating a sequence a mere two or three times. If I had to venture a guess, I’d have to say that this type of training probably elicits a good growth hormone response as well, due to the large amount of full body work completed in a given time period. But that’s just my guess.
I like to incorporate about 5 exercises into my complexes. Any more than that and you might start to forget what’s next in the sequence. Here’s an example of a killer barbell complex that really gets me fired up:
Example Barbell Complex
1. high pull from floor (explosive deadlift right into upright row in one motion);
2. barbell back to thighs, then hang clean (explosively pull bar from knees and “catch” the bar at shoulders);
3. barbell back to floor, then clean & jerk;
4. barbell back to thighs, bend over, then bent over row;
5. barbell back to thighs, then finish with Romanian deadlift
Use a weight that you can still handle for your weakest lift of the bunch, but keep it heavy enough to challenge you. Try to repeat the sequence 2-3 times without resting… That’s 1 set. You could progress over time on this routine by increasing the amount of times you repeat the sequence in each set, or by adding sets on subsequent workouts before eventually increasing the weight. For example, say you completed the above complex with 155-lbs for 3 sequences per set for 3 sets in today’s workout. Next time you perform the workout, try to do 155 lbs for 3 sequences per set for 4 sets. Once you successfully complete 5 sets with 155, increase the weight 5 or 10 lbs next time, and drop back to 3 sets. This is a great way to make improvements over time, while cycling your training volume.
Now I’m going to show you a great kettlebell complex that really kicks my butt. I’ve been training with kettlebells for a little over a year now, and can definitely say that they’ve dramatically improved my strength, body composition, and overall physical capabilities. If you’re not familiar with kettlebells, they are an old eastern European training secret that has just started to take the US by storm over the last few years. Many elite athletes are using kettlebells as their preferred training tool for serious results. Learn more info and pick up one of your own body-hardening kettlebells at http://truthaboutabs.com/fitness-products.html. I’d recommend just starting off with one bell and learn all of the single kettlebell drills first, before delving into the double-bell drills. Just one kettlebell coupled with some bodyweight exercises can literally be enough to comprise your own home gym, without any other equipment necessary. Or you can just incorporate kettlebell training into your normal training routine once or twice a week to shake up your routine and stimulate new results.
Example Kettlebell Complex
1. one arm swing
2. one arm snatch, keep the bell over head;
3. one arm overhead squat;
4. bell back down to bottom, then one arm split snatch;
5. bell back down to bottom, then one arm clean & press
As with the barbell complex, repeat the sequence (without rest) 2-3 times with each arm. That’s one set…and one hell of a killer set at that! Try increasing from 3 to 4 to 5 sets on subsequent workouts with a given weight before increasing your sequence reps. If you’re not drenched in sweat with your heart beating out of your chest after that complex, you either went too light, or you are a mutant freak!
Alright, since most people will have easier access to dumbbells instead of kettlebells, now I’ll show you how to compile a good dumbbell complex.
Example Dumbbell Complex
1. upright row with each arm separately, then both together;
2. front lunge with one leg, then the other;
3. back lunge with one leg, then the other;
4. curl to overhead press;
5. keep dumbbells at shoulders and squat
Again, the same type of sequencing and progressions work great with the dumbbell complexes. I think a great strategy is to alternate barbell complexes on one day with kettlebell or dumbbell complexes on alternative training days. For example, you could do barbell complexes Monday, K-bell or D-bell complexes Wednesday, and back to barbell complexes on Friday. Maybe hit some sprints and bodyweight drills on Saturday; then Monday would be K-bell or D-bell complexes again, Wednesday would be barbells again, and so on. Give this program a try for a month (if you dare), and you will be one hardened individual!
For more killer full body training routines and a fully comprehensive nutritional analysis for developing the body you’ve always wanted, check out http://truthaboutabs.com
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These are apparent advantages in favor of an LCD television but do these differences really affect you the viewer? A thinner television doesn’t always have a superior picture. LCD televisions are easier to maintain less likely to degrade with time and use less power than plasma TVs, so see more on What’S The Difference Between Samsung Lcd And Plasma Tv’S. The most serious problem though is the black issue; because LCD TVs are backlit black is never quite black though it can approach it if you keep the TV dim and watch in a darkened room. In a black-and-white movie contrast is everything. See more about Samsung LA40S81B. LCD TV battle plasma wins on the price because of their head start on producing the larger models.
If you are looking for a flat panel television here are the guidelines. Read on more about What’S The Difference Between Samsung Lcd And Plasma Tv’S, or explore more about Samsung LA40S81B. So I set out to investigate the matter.
These must have consumer electronic devices have easily replaced the bulky televisions. Further networked LCD monitors allow for remote content management and scheduling as well which is an added advantage for big businesses, so get more info on What’S The Difference Between Samsung Lcd And Plasma Tv’S. The LCD television is among them. See more details on What’S The Difference Between Samsung Lcd And Plasma Tv’S below. If something goes wrong with the panel itself it must be replaced. If something goes wrong with the panel itself it must be replaced. See more about Samsung LA40S81B below!
The popularity of LCD televisions is growing in the market with each passing day. LCD stands for Liquid Crystal Display. Hope you got all details on What’S The Difference Between Samsung Lcd And Plasma Tv’S.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
There are some people who are compelled to wash their hands several times a day until they become chapped. Others find a compelling need to avoid stepping on cracks when walking inside shopping malls or big office buildings. Still, there are some who ritually wipe off the doorknob every time somebody enters his house or room. These people are suffering from an anxiety disorder called obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD.
OCD is characterized by obsession, distress, unwanted thoughts or images, and compulsion. Those who suffer from it have ritualistic behaviors that interrupt their daily activities. Most of their thoughts, impulses, or repetitive behaviors are related to excessive, unfounded worries about particular real life situations, problems, or a dreaded event. Despite the fact that they are aware of their unreasonable compulsions, they cannot stop themselves from performing these rituals, and most often, this leads them to think that they have gone crazy.
Various theories have been released with regard to the specific cause of OCD. The most common of these is the possibility of an insufficient level of serotonin, which acts as the brain’s chemical messengers. There are also several studies that link strep throat infections with OCD, especially in children. Other contributing factors are related to biological and environmental elements.
Cognitive behavior therapy, along with psychiatric medications, will greatly help in easing the symptoms and in allowing OCD sufferers to live normal, worry-free lives. With family and friends who care, OCD can be defeated.
Avista Capital Partners Invests $27 Million in Frontier Drilling.
Avista Capital Partners Completes Acquisition of Bristol-Myers Squibb Medical Imaging.
Read up more about Avista Capital at the Live Healthy Now website.
Alcohol And Substance Abuse Will Not Take Away Your Fears
It is not easy to deal with our fears and anxieties however trying to avoid them through Alcohol or other substances will not work. Avoiding your fears and anxieties will not make them go away. Your fears and anxieties will always be there. The best way to deal with your fears is to find effective ways to overcome them. As a result, here are some techniques a person can use to help manage their fears and anxieties.
The first step is to learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.
Seek help from God. You might of heard this before, however have you tried asking God for help? Praying and talking to God about your problem can be effective. Although the answers might not come to you right away, you can’t go wrong on relying on God. You never know how God will work in ones life. All you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the best, and take it in stride by using the help of God. God will help us through our problems if we ask him.
Remember that no one can predict the future with 100 Percent certainty. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, let’s say at your place of work that you miss the deadline for a project you have been working on for the last few months. Everything you feared is coming true. Suddenly, your boss comes to your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the day before. This unknown factor changes everything. Remember: we may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.
Another technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that make you feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel depressed or frustrated, open up your small notebook and read those statements. This will help to manage your negative thinking.
As a Layman, the important thing is to get the proper help by seeing a professional. Avoiding your problem through the use of alcohol or other substances will do nothing in the long run in fixing your problems. It will just make things worse. Managing your fear and anxieties will take some hard work. Be patience, persistent and stay committed in trying to solve your problem.
Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods”-a book that presents a overview of techniques in managing Fear. For more info go to: www.managingfear.com
For free articles on managing fear please go to: www.managingfear.com
Thinking about Rake Back Offers - What You Should Know
Some card players have asked me “Why would I profit from this rakeback? I play at poker rooms when I have a bonus to clear.” What will happen if someday you decide to take poker up as your career? There are too many gamers who are very stressed at not getting rakeback offers however now the majority of them have signed up for all the leading poker rooms. Do not make the same error.
Anyone who plays below a couple of dollars and only plays when clearing bonus payments, you are obtaining in most cases around one hundred percent rakeback considering the bonus payment on the play. A well known room have recently shut down betters that employed their site merely for this purpose. It’s anyone’s guess whether this exercise might inspire a new trend. Should this come about then right away a Full Tilt Poker rake back is imperative.
One day you may just find your best game and then become extremely successful, that’s if you aren’t by now. I was hurt in an accident and discovered poker when I was off, I have never had any second thoughts. That is a couple of years ago and believe me I have not once had a job since because of web based gaming and rake back. It’s always fantastic idea to look ahead. Consider it an investment for the future, even if you don’t consider rake back is beneficial for you at present it might end up being a fantastic strategy tomorrow, there is no danger involved. Should you be considering checking out a different poker rooms checking out a rake back deal has to be a great strategy.
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The Good & The Bad Of Office Romance
Professionals often spend significantly more time at the office than at home. So much so that there is always a generous amount of single men and single women who don’t have the time to meet new people. So the logical choice for them to meet other single men and women is naturally, the office.
When single people spend at least 40 hours, in some professions 50 hours and more, with like minded people of similar backgrounds and interests, relationships are a tempting side effect. Although it’s a logical choice to look within the office for romance, there are definitely good and bad aspects to the office dating scene.
The good in office dating
There are several advantages to office dating one of which is obvious — the time you have to check out the available singles is during your work hours so no longer do the constraints of office hours apply. Also the awkwardness of first introductions is usually eliminated as initial conversations are done within the pretense of a work environment once again relieving the stress of having to make such a critical first impression since the impression would be based on some sort of work objective as opposed to strictly a personal objective like you would have in the normal dating process.
A second advantage is knowing the person before you date them, at least to some degree. The truth is you may interact with a potential date several times on a business level and get to know something about their personality and themselves without being on the spot as you would in a normal social setting. This helps avoid the common pitfall of most early relationships — incompatibility.
A final advantage, is the ability to quickly build a relationship as the time you see each other is significantly more than people who would meet outside the work place?
The bad in office dating
As with any dating scenario there is defiantly a bad side to office romance. For example just as being in constant contact with each other due to sharing an office can be an advantage it can also be a huge disadvantage. This amount of time spent together can cause a relationship to fall apart just as quickly as it developed, why? We all need alone time and seeing each other five days a week for eight hours or more and then spending time together on the weekends makes for precious little alone time.
Another disadvantage to the office romance is when a person must exercise their professional responsibilities which might include having to discipline or even fire the person they are dating . Although this might seem like a remote idea when you being the relationship, I don’t think you would be very comfortable having to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend, “your fired”. Another example of this might be a need for one of the participants to go out of their way to show the rest of the office they are not playing favorites maybe even to the point of not promoting the person even though they might be the most deserving.
A final disadvantage to office dating could be jealousy especially if the relationship is “under cover”. If you see your officemates flirting with your date the natural reaction would be negative and why would being in a office environment generate any other reaction than a natural one? With that reaction might come a unnecessary reaction including punishing someone for something that is not work related at all.
Before you entertain the thought of dating the cute secretary on the fourth floor or the hot hunk VP you saw during the last office meeting, entertain the consequences of dating that person, balance the pros and cons and if you decide to move foreward keep an eye out for all of the things that can go wrong and have an understanding of how you might handle any of those situations. Remember you are dating a professional single so to keep your job keep the professional in front of the single.
John Jones writes dating articles from a professional single standpoint. His website is professionalsingles.netfirms.com
The Personal Life Coach as Modern-Day Ally
A personal life coach is part of a profession whose name is new but whose role is as old as recorded history. Throughout history, successful people have had the self-awareness and emotional intelligence to ally themselves with friends and confidants, advisors and partners, mentors and guides, peers and supporters of their enterprises, consultants, and, in athletic endeavors, even coaches. The synonyms for those who care for us and are committed to our growth and success are as plentiful as mythology’s hero of a thousand faces.
A COACH IS THE MODERN-DAY ALLY
Since we began to call it “coaching” in the mid-1980s, we now have “coaches,” who differ from the previous archetypal helpers in various ways. Yet those differences are precisely the source of the power and effectiveness that is causing more and more people to hire their own chief of staff.
Clients hire coaches for support and comradeship in reaching goals in areas as diverse as business, executive, leadership, career, financial, health and relationships. Many coaches offer specialties such as spiritual coaching, parenting coaching, and individual speech coaching. The coached client sets better goals, takes more action, makes better decisions, and more fully uses his or her natural strengths.
Coaches enhance the traditional functions of friends, mentors, or advisors by adding several effective features:
- A structured relationship with clear goals
- Advanced techniques and procedures designed to effect change
- Motivated clients who know they want something, even if they’re not yet sure what it is
- A coach skilled in ferreting out a client’s true goals and identifying how the client can most effectively use his or her natural talents to reach them
Sometimes coaches will just help you over that cliff. But only after you’ve told them you’re ready, looked back, and given them the thumbs-up sign.
A COACH IS NOT AN EXPERT IN ALL AREAS
Coaches presume you are the expert on you. Unlike other practices (consulting, some fields of therapy), a coach does not need to be an expert in the field of your goals in order to coach you on the process of achieving those goals - in fact, a generalist can sometimes help you more than any specialist. That’s because coaches are experts in process — in the methodology of asking powerful questions that help you to clarify your values, goals, and what blocks you. And coaches are experts in defining, leading you to, and declaring the attainment (or lack thereof) of outcomes. They don’t need to be experts in subjects like your psychology or even human psychology, though many are. If expertise matters at all in a given situation, the expertise is yours, the client’s.
COACHES TEND TO BE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT AND GOOD WITH PEOPLE
Beyond commitment, coaches bring critical attitudes and traits: emotional intelligence, ferocious listening skills, proven psychological techniques, people smarts, and, if you hire right, a sense of humor. Coaches perform assessments of skills and aptitudes, of course, but they also draw out what would give you fulfillment. Most importantly for life and career coaching clients, coaches dig into what clients have always (often since childhood) enjoyed, but too often overlooked. This is just one of the ways we whittle away at who you might reflexively think you are in order to expose the real you.
We know how to help you model the attributes of people you consider successful until that modeling manifest as your new reality. We can show you techniques of mental imagery and construction of effective, positive affirmations. We’re alert to linguistic patterns indicating commitment - or the lack of it. We can spot speech patterns that signal avoidance, resignation, defeatism, and unexamined assumptions and obstructions that impede success.
We also work at converting clients’ unconscious negativity and subtle patterns of defeatist thinking into conscious empowerment. We do this using various methods, including some drawn from consulting and psychology. One is Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), a series of techniques and procedures for coding human behavior in order to assist clients in understanding what they do and how they do it when they do it excellently. Another is cognitive-behavioral therapy. We use framing and metaphors to set up worldviews in speaking to you, and we employ reframing when we see that a worldview (or set of assumptions) expressed by you is restrictive and self-limiting.
We try to apply the best of science and people skills to real caring about how you fare.
• Social Contract. Coaching relies on one of the most powerful forces in the world: the power of the social contract and commitment. For the same reason that public marriage vows tend to keep people together longer than they would in its absence, for the same reason we try harder to keep New Year’s resolutions we have shared with others, coaching is effective because you have made a promise to someone other than yourself - a public or social contract.
• A coach has you as his full-time job. Unlike even a friend, a coach is wholly and formally committed and dedicated to your success, uses rigorous and proven training and techniques to assist you in getting there, and will always (not just most of the time) speak the truth to and challenge you when you could most benefit from it.
• Sometimes we want help but don’t need a therapist: a coach drives a future of high functioning. Unlike a therapist in a strictly counseling format, a coach focuses not on the past but on the future, and supports you not in analyzing dysfunction but in functioning at an even higher level than you already are. For more on this important topic, see our article on “The Difference Coaching and Counseling” at http://www.ferocecoaching.com/coaching-and-counseling.html.
• A coach leads you to answers that are often inside you. Unlike a consultant, who purports to be a subject-matter expert and creates most of any plan of action, a coach is an expert on, if anything, process and motivation, and simply guides you in the creation of most of your own plan of action. We believe and have seen that people are fundamentally creative and resourceful; our job is to show you how to tap into that creativity and those resources.
We bring to the task the following guiding principles:
• A posture of non-judgmental awareness, or unconditional positive regard, or, more simply, acceptance of you
• Authenticity, and honesty coupled with sensitivity
• Compassion-in-action, and empathy
Cameron Powell, a writer and coach, is also a professional ally and strategic partner who, as a life coach, when his clients most need it, will kick their butts into action now and then. To learn more about how he gets people unstuck and moving forward in their lives and careers as a Personal Life Coach , visit his site.
Actions Of Love
Myrna, 38 and a successful physician, sought my help because she often felt inadequate. While she really valued herself as a doctor, she did not value herself in her important relationships with friends and family. In addition, she said she wanted to be in a loving relationship but she took no actions to meet available men.
In the course of our work together, it became apparent that Myrna rarely took loving action in her own behalf with her friends and family. For example, Jessica, one of Myrna’s friends, would often get angry and blame Myrna when Myrna was not available for dinner with Jessica. Myrna would feel guilty and responsible for Jessica’s feelings and meet her for dinner even when she was exhausted from work. Myrna would feel drained after these dinners and depressed for a few days after, never realizing it was because she had not taken loving care of herself.
Myrna realized that the reason she was afraid to be in a relationship was because she had no idea how to take care of herself around others. She was terrified of completely losing herself in an important relationship. She realized that if she could not speak up for herself with Jessica, how could she ever speak up and take loving action for herself with a man she was in love with? She realized that she would continue to feel lonely, anxious, inadequate and depressed until she learned to take loving action for herself.
Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, stress, and anger as well as from feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action in their own behalf.
Loving actions fall into two categories: Loving actions for yourself and loving actions in relationship to others.
LOVING ACTIONS FOR YOURSELF
Loving actions for yourself are those actions that attend to your own needs. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you are letting yourself know that you matter, you are important, you count. When you fail to take loving action, you give yourself the message that you are not important, which leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy.
Loving actions for yourself might include:
* Eating nutritious foods, avoiding junk food and sugar, eating when hungry and stopping when full.
* Getting enough exercise.
* Keeping your work and home environments clean and organized.
* Getting enough sleep.
* Creating a balance between work and play. Making sure you have time to get your work done, as well as time to do nothing, reflect, learn, play and create.
* Creating a good support system of people who love and care about you.
* Being organized with your time, getting places on time, paying bills on time, and so on.
* Choosing to be compassionate with yourself rather than judgmental toward yourself.
* Creating a balance between time for yourself and time with others.
* Making sure you are physically safe by wearing a seat belt in a car, a helmet on a motorcycle, scooter, or bike, goggles when necessary, and so on.
LOVING ACTIONS IN RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS
Loving actions in relationship to others might include:
* Being kind and compassionate toward others without compromising your own integrity or ignoring your own needs and feelings.
* Saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes, rather than giving yourself up and going along with something you don’t want to do, or automatically resisting what another wants from you.
* Taking care of your own needs instead of trying to change and control others. Accepting your lack of control over others and either accepting them as they are or not being around them.
* Speaking your truth about what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable and then taking action for yourself based on your truth.
* Taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs, instead of being a victim and making others responsible for your feelings and needs.
* Creating a balance between giving and receiving, rather than a one-way street with another person.
As a result of learning to take better care of herself alone and with others, Myrna no longer felt depressed and inadequate. She gradually lost her fears of being in a relationship, and is delighted to be meeting available men.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You” and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.
Friendship and Sharing
We are all social animals. Not many of us think about prisons. Why is prison life a punishment? Because you cannot move around and meet people. With friendship, we break the barrier that stops us sharing our life with others. During early childhood, only mother is enough. But observe the pain on the face of a child who has no friends to play with, and you will realize why friends are so important? Why does even a small child need friends? He/she can surely play with parents and enjoy life? Friends are needed because most of them are from the same age group and we relate better with people of our age group. Give it a thought.
Many of us carry a childhood friendship in our adult life. That gives us an opportunity to share memories of the childhood spent together. That’s why, when we meet a old childhood friend after a long time, we love to go back to our memories. We go back to those days, when things were much better. One is also known by the friends one keeps. What does this mean? This means that people of similar taste become better friends. That is a big advantage of friendship. To share thoughts about things of common interest.
Many times, some things in our life, some incidents etc. cannot be shared with anyone but friends. A friend will understand our problem and not lecture us about mistakes. A friend will be with us and will always be for us. That is friendship. Good friends share every thing in their life including the intimate details, and one who has such friends is very lucky. To share is very important. To talk, to discuss, to exchange ideas, to smile, to laugh and to cry together, we need friends. If we have good friends, we should always take care of the friendship and make the bond stronger. A friendship lost is a very big loss. We cannot go back to childhood days and make friends again. Value friends, and value the friendship as a treasure.
Connect with friends with love and care. Send them some ecards from time to time to share your care. Build and share your friendship. Treasure it.
Send ecards from http://www.ecarduniverse.com and http://www.inspirationecards.com to your friends.
CD Mohatta is currently a dedicated content writer for screensavers, wallpapers and ecards in all the websites of ScreeneNetwork.com. Some of them are EcardUniverse.com and ValentinesDay-Cards.com